We’ve all heard the saying, “Little drops of water make a mighty ocean.” While this often conjures images of positive growth, the same principle applies to the challenges in marriage. Just as small acts of love can build a strong relationship, small negative behaviors can accumulate over time, leading to the breakdown of a marriage. Little drops of anger, pride, pain, disrespect, cheating, and abuse—whether physical, emotional, or financial—can slowly form an ocean of resentment and distance if not addressed. If left unchecked, these drops can become a powerful force that pulls a marriage apart, sometimes to the point of irreparability.
The Danger of Accumulating Negative Drops
It’s easy to overlook the small things. Maybe your spouse said something hurtful last week, and you brushed it off without addressing it. Or perhaps they failed to support you during a difficult time, and you quietly held onto that disappointment. These moments, when not dealt with, start to pile up. The frustration or pain you felt from that small incident last year is still there, lingering in your heart. Then, something new happens, and you add that to the pile. Over time, what started as small, seemingly insignificant issues can become overwhelming.
Ask yourself today: What little drops of water am I allowing to accumulate in my marriage? Is it selfishness? Disregard? Intolerance? Holding onto these drops, even if they seem minor at the time, can slowly erode the foundation of your relationship. You might be replaying an argument in your mind or nursing a grudge over something that happened long ago. Each time you do, you add another drop to the ocean.
The Power of Wiping Away the Drops
It’s not easy to let go of pain, especially when it feels justified. Maybe your spouse hurt you deeply, and the thought of forgiving them feels impossible. But here’s the truth: If you don’t wipe away those negative drops as soon as they fall, they will accumulate and harden into something much more difficult to remove.
I know it’s painful—I’ve been there myself. But what I’ve learned, and what I encourage you to embrace, is the importance of wiping away these drops immediately. Don’t allow them to sit and fester until they become an ocean of bitterness. Decide today that you want to clear out every negative drop that has been building up in your marriage. Whether it’s infidelity, harsh words, or any other hurt, make the conscious decision to wipe it away.
Replacing Negative Drops with Positive Ones
Once you’ve decided to clear out the negative, it’s time to start filling your marriage with the drops that will make it thrive. Let your marriage be filled with drops of tolerance, forgiveness, peace, love, endurance, selflessness, and sacrifice. Let it be about giving, sharing, caring, and tenderness. Embrace respect, humility, and yes, even physical affection like kisses, hugs, and good sex.
These are the drops that will nourish your relationship, creating an ocean of love and connection that can withstand any storm. Imagine the transformation that can occur when you replace anger with understanding, or when you choose to forgive instead of holding a grudge.
Practical Steps to Wipe Away the Negative Drops
One of my clients once shared a powerful insight with me. She said, “It is hard, but these days I don’t wait for my spouse to apologize anymore. I apologize first, just like you taught me, and it has been working. We hardly have issues that linger for a day or two because I’ve taken on this attitude of letting go.”
This approach has been a cornerstone in my own marriage as well. Yes, we argue. Yes, we disagree. But we don’t let those moments linger. We address them quickly, apologize, and move on. This is the beauty and sweetness of marriage because, at the end of the day, we are friends. Just think about how you treat your friends. If they hurt you, you forgive and move on because the relationship matters more than the incident.
Building a Marriage That Honors God
Your marriage has the potential to be a shining example of love and commitment, a reflection of God’s grace. But to achieve this, you must be intentional about what you allow to grow in your relationship. Start today by wiping away the negative drops and replacing them with positive ones. Let your marriage be filled with little drops of love, kindness, and grace. As you do, you’ll create a relationship that is not only fulfilling for you and your spouse but also honors God and inspires others.
Don’t let your marriage become something that others look at with pity or despair. Instead, let it be a marriage that people admire, a union that stands strong because it is built on the right foundation. If you’re struggling to know where to start, or if you need more personalized guidance, consider booking a coaching session. Together, we can work to prevent your marriage from falling apart and build a relationship that will last a lifetime. Remember, little drops of water can make a mighty ocean—make sure they are the drops that will sustain and enrich your marriage
For more tips on how to prevent your marriage from falling apart, you can book a coaching session here. Also, sign up for my Better Marriage Course here.
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