I know you’ve seen a lot.
You’ve heard stories of marriages that didn’t work, homes that broke apart, and love that didn’t last.
Quietly, maybe without even saying it out loud, a question has been forming in your heart: “What if marriage doesn’t work for me?”
Let’s look at it differently
Do people stop building because buildings collapse?
We’ve seen it happen, even close to home. When a building falls, it shakes people. It brings fear, questions, and concern but does it stop others from building their own houses?
No, it doesn’t.
People don’t abandon the idea of having a home simply because one structure failed. Instead, they become more careful. They begin to ask better questions.
They pay attention to foundations, to materials, to the people they trust to build.
That is wisdom.
So when you see marriages failing, the answer is not to run away from marriage. The answer is to become wiser about it. Instead of letting fear take root, let curiosity and responsibility rise.
Ask yourself, “What makes a marriage strong? What should I do differently? How can I build something that will last?”Just like buildings don’t collapse without a reason, marriages don’t fail without causes either.
Let me bring it even closer to you with something familiar: Jollof rice.
You and I both know that two people can cook jollof rice and get completely different results. One person throws everything together carelessly, without understanding the process, and the result is… well, something we would rather not talk about.
Another person takes time, prepares the ingredients properly, follows the right steps, and pays attention to detail and what comes out is rich, satisfying, and beautiful.
Marriage works the same way.
When you see a marriage that is not working, don’t let it discourage you. Understand that somewhere along the line, something was missing like preparation, knowledge, patience, or the right principles.
It is not proof that marriage itself is bad; it is often proof that the process was not followed.This is why guidance matters so much.You don’t walk into important areas of your life blindly. You seek help for your career, you learn skills before practicing them, you ask questions when you don’t understand something.
Marriage deserves even more intentionality because of how deeply it affects every part of your life. A troubled marriage can touch your peace, your work, your emotions, even your sense of purpose. So why would you not prepare for it?Having the right voices in your life can make all the difference. They help you see what you cannot see on your own. They guide you, correct you, and prepare you in ways you may not even realize you need.
If all you consume are stories of broken homes and betrayal, your heart will naturally become afraid. But if you begin to surround yourself with truth, with wisdom, and with examples of marriages that are healthy and thriving, something begins to change inside you. Your expectations shift. Your faith grows. You begin to see what is possible, not just what has gone wrong.
My dear, instead of feeding fear, start feeding your understanding. Prepare yourself emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. Be honest about your expectations and make sure they are grounded in truth.
Learn what love really means not just as a feeling, but as a choice and a responsibility.
Above all, believe that your own story can be different.
My dear, marriage is not something to fear; it is something to prepare for. When you build with intention, when you follow the right principles, and when you commit to doing it well, you are not stepping into something fragile. You are building something strong, something meaningful, something that can truly flourish.
That’s why I long to hold your hand through preparation in God’s prepared Singles Hub.
If your Marriage Building seems to be crumbling down, do not fear. Help is here.
So don’t let fear hold you back. Let it push you to become wiser, deeper, and more prepared.
You can get it right.
