Tomi and Akin were once the couple everyone envied. Their love story was the kind that inspired others—a bond forged through shared adventures, deep intellectual conversations, and unwavering support for each other’s dreams. For six years, they were inseparable, laughing and loving their way through life together.
But as with many relationships, the pressures of life began to take their toll. Tomi’s career skyrocketed, demanding longer hours and more of her energy. Meanwhile, Akin embarked on the challenging journey of starting his own business, which consumed him entirely. Their lives became busier, and slowly, their relationship began to change without them even realizing it.
It started with the little things—the kind of moments that often go unnoticed at first. Tomi would snap at Akin for leaving his shoes in the hallway, and Akin would get frustrated when Tomi was late for dinner yet again. These small instances of unkindness, born out of stress and exhaustion, became more frequent. Rather than addressing these moments, they let them slide, assuming the other was having a bad day.
As time passed, these small acts of unkindness began to accumulate. Tomi, once Akin’s biggest supporter, became increasingly critical of his business decisions, often questioning his judgment in a tone that left him feeling belittled. On the other hand, Akin started to withdraw, meeting her criticism with sarcasm or silence instead of communication. The playful banter that once defined their relationship turned into sharp, cutting remarks that left lasting scars.
The little gestures that had once made their relationship special began to disappear. Akin no longer made Tomi coffee in the mornings, and Tomi stopped leaving him notes of encouragement before his big meetings. Their conversations, once filled with dreams and shared emotions, became transactional—centered around logistics rather than love.
Then, one night, after a heated argument about finances, Akin retreated to the spare bedroom. As he lay there, staring at the ceiling, a heartbreaking realization washed over him: he couldn’t remember the last time they had said “I love you” and truly meant it. The warmth and kindness that had once been the foundation of their relationship had vanished, replaced by bitterness and resentment.
In the master bedroom, Tomi lay awake, feeling the same coldness. She missed the man she had fallen in love with but had no idea how to reach him anymore. The walls of unkindness they had built between them seemed insurmountable, and neither knew how to tear them down. Despite trying counseling, their attempts to rekindle the kindness that once bound them only led to more arguments and further blame. The love that had once been their safe haven now felt like a distant memory, obscured by years of unspoken hurt and unresolved conflicts.
Eventually, Tomi and Akin made the painful decision to separate. Their relationship didn’t end with a dramatic betrayal but with the slow erosion of kindness. The small, everyday unkindnesses they had allowed to slip by unchecked had added up, creating a chasm too wide to cross. As they packed up their shared belongings, a quiet sadness filled the air. They both knew that their love hadn’t been lost in a single moment but had faded gradually over time. The unkindness that crept into their lives, left unaddressed, had slowly extinguished the light of their relationship, leaving behind only memories of what once was.
Is kindness seeping out of your marriage?
Don’t let your relationship suffer the same fate as Tomi and Akin’s. It’s easy to overlook the small moments of unkindness, but over time, they can build up and create a distance that’s hard to overcome. Take a moment today to show your partner kindness—whether it’s through a loving word, a small gesture, or simply taking the time to listen. The little things truly do matter, and they could make all the difference in keeping the love between you alive.
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