Most times in marriage, we wives give counsels to our husbands because we care for them; we love them and want the best for them. 

“If I were you, I would do this.”

“If I were the one, I would have done that.”

“Why can’t you do it this way…?”

But have you paused to consider the counsel you are giving to your husband?

Have you asked yourself if your counsel will spell goodness or vice-versa?

Most of us have good reasons for giving our husbands advice, but do you know we can only give counsels as far as we know?

Are you Zeresh, a wife whose counsel brought death to her husband (Haman the Agagite who is mentioned in the book of Esther)? She advised her husband to prepare high gallows (50 cubits) to hang Mordecai (Esther 5:14). Her husband eventually became the person who was hanged there.

Or are you like Abigail? She was married to Nabal, a drunk, a fool and a loud talker. Though he wanted to bring death upon himself by refusing to give David and his men food, his wife’s wise counsel and intervention made him live (at least for that day)!

If you asked Zeresh, she would say she advised her husband based on how she saw things; she would say she counselled her husband based on her perspective. 

Now we know where “her perspective” led her husband – death.

Her counsel could have given her husband another day to live! 

If you asked Abigail likewise, she would probably tell you that she spoke from how she saw things. She spoke from her perspective. 

We can also see where her perspective led her husband – “life”.

We will have occasions to offer counsels to our husbands; when that time comes, let us make sure that whatever counsel we give reveals that we have wisdom.

If your counsel is against God and His words, be sure that the outcome will always be against your husband. 

Only the words of God ought to be our perspective. When we make the words of God our perspective, offering life-giving counsels will be easy. 

When you make it a habit to read God’s words as a wife, wisdom for right counsel will not be far from your mouth (Proverbs 2:6). Be like the virtuous woman who opens her mouth with wisdom (Prov 31:26).

So, decide who you would rather be – Zeresh or Abigail.